EMOTIONAL REGULATION
being aware of how we respond to overwhelming emotions is crucial in order to work on our emotional regulation. although emotions are crucial for survival, they can often cloud our thoughts and intentions.
when reflecting upon the way you react, don't assume. look back at a previous experience and be critical
Note that we are not aiming to suppress "bad thoughts". Our aim is to be aware that there are several perspectives to a single thought.
questions to ask yourself
-
Am i comfortable being vulnerable? What about being vulnerable around others?
-
How do my emotions influence my thoughts and behaviours?
-
Does my confidence influence the way i deal with problems?
understanding your emotions
physiological response is the consequence of chemicals - for example an increased heart beat caused by adrenaline
subjective responses are the feelings. they can be triggered by the physiological responses, but also if we chose to
-
Separate the physiological and the subjective responses. Both can influence your thoughts and behaviours
for example, say a friend is feeling really anxious for no apparent reason. understanding this is a body function will allow them to be more compassionate with themselves rather than to act out or try to suppress it.
Healthy ways to react to emotions
-
SPORT
moving your body is a way to relieve stress, and it releases the "happy chemicals"
-
ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE VULNERABLE not trying to suppress or rationalise all emotions. create a safe environment, perhaps with people you trust, where you can be vulnerable
-
BREATHING EXERCISES
focusing on how the body feels and breathing can help to calm down.
-
BE COMPASSIONATE
"others have it worse" invalidates emotions. being compassionate yourself doesn't limit the amount of compassion to others. Everyone has the right to feel.
-
AVOID BLAMING
blaming something just gives it power over your emotions. we must be aware of how our surroundings influence our emotions, but rather than blaming external factors that are out of control, make peace and focus on what we can control