THOUGHT PATTERNS

A vast majority of your thoughts are subconscious, so trying to control them is not very feasible option. Here's what you can do instead: 

• become aware of thought patterns 
  not trying to control your thoughts doesn't mean not to be aware of them. journaling and meditation can be particularly helpful to spot habitual thought processes. you can find some exercises to help you here

• control what stimulates you 
  this is particularly hard to do in the modern day, where technology constantly bombards us with information. be aware of how your surrounding are influencing your mind  

• don't listen to all of your thoughts 
  be selective over the thoughts and emotions you chose to listen to and act on. otherwise, welcome them and let go. 

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COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS

cognitive distortions is a fancy word for "misleading thoughts". These are the following examples: 

• Black and White thinking 
  thoughts that are polarized, an "all-or-nothing" mindset which accepts nothing in between. this leads to assigning a single label to the situation, often clouded by strong emotions and innacurate

• Overgeneralizing / Mental Filter
  taking one example and drawing conclusions, often fixating on the negative. this also includes disqualifying the positive, for example, when a person thinks they are not good enough, despite good evidence saying otherwise. 

• Fortune Telling and Mind Reading 
  creating a narrative in the mind about what will happen or what others are thinking without much evidence. 

• Control Fallacies
  a person who thinks they are in control of everything, hence taking responsibility or the blame on everything, including other's emotions. alternatively, it can be just the opposite: thinking that nothing is in their control and being passive. 

• Change Fallacies 
  someone who fixates their source of happiness in situations or on others rather than themselves. this is when we convince ourselves that, if we managed to change something or someone, we would be happy. 

BRAIN PLASTICITY 

the brain is constantly changing and adapting itself as it experiences and learns. it kills all the unused neural pathways and makes the new, required pathways stronger. this is brain plasticity